Set your teen up for summer success!
Honestly, when my kids were younger, I was baffled by the parents who said they couldn’t wait for summer break. They had visions of long, lazy days with no schedule. Sounded heavenly in concept, but never worked for my kids. So I approached summer break with a hint of uncertainty and a full schedule of day camps.
My kids are older now and my old summer game plan no longer fits. My current reality? Sometimes-surly teens that sleep ‘til noon, only want to play video games (oh, the yelling at other players!), and are too old for summer camp. So what to do now?
What are potential summer speed bumps?
Structure (or lack of) - every teen I know relishes the idea of sleeping in and not being on a schedule. But surprise - the lack of any schedule is the surest way to create chaos and more problems.
Too many or too few activities - getting out comes super naturally to some teens who want nothing more than to spend all their time with friends. Others roll their eyes at the thought of a planned activity, let alone one that involves socializing.
Travel & over-stimulation -whether road trips or flights, friends or extended family, summer is full of changes in routine and new places. Fun? Yes. Potentially dysregulating? Also yes.
How do we set teens (and us too!) up for success this summer?
A little preparation and planning goes a long way towards a smoother summer. Here are some tips:
Structure - Teens thrive on structure - it’s true! Build in regular activities that create continuity. How about a summer job, even babysitting or pet sitting? Or a regular volunteering commitment?
Scaffolding - What support does your teen need to succeed? Meet them where they are. Not where you think they should be. Especially for neurodivergent teens! Do they need reminders (phone alarms are great for this) to get out the door on time? Or help finding that volunteering opportunity?
Clear expectations - Let them know what you want. Visuals help. Try a written list of chores and a calendar of appointments (post it on the fridge!), predetermined time limits on video games, or family meetings before vacations. Communicate clearly and often so there are no surprises.
Flexibility - This isn’t a contradiction to #3, promise! Let your teen know what you expect, but make it a conversation not a directive. Is there a different way to get the task done? Can they suggest a timeline they are actually able to keep? Same destination, different route.
Embrace some boredom - Sheri’s got some great ideas on this! Watch for a blog post about summer boredom coming soon.
And don’t forget - it’s developmentally appropriate for teens to want to spend more time with their friends than their families.
PS - Occasionally I’m still able to convince my kids to share in some summer fun with me. This year, I’m hoping we get in a few picnics or even bike rides to the picnics! What’s your favorite simple summer activity with your teen?
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